Hello There Little Girl

I have a well documented, irrational fear of creepy little girls. This started with The Ring, which scared the hell out of me. Ever since then it seems like the creepy little girl has become the horror theme du jour. Obviously creepy little girls set something off in our primitive hind brains. At least mine.

So I’ve been bored as hell for the last few days. I’ve pretty much had nothing at all to do since Friday. So I started downloading games. Downloaded Call of Duty 2 and played that quite a bit. I think I’m almost done. Been fun, but a little repetitive. Last night I downloaded F.E.A.R. which I had seen ads for on Penny Arcade. Looked pretty cool, but I couldn’t help but notice that the cover featured a really, really creepy little girl. Long, stringy black hair, face down, white dress. The works.

I get the whole game downloaded and install it. It’s like… maybe 10:30pm? Start playing and she shows up immediately. Fuck it. Wait till it’s day time.

I can admit when I’m scared.

So this morning I get up with the resolve to kick that bitch’s ass. Get some F.E.A.R. going and it’s a pretty good game. The gun mechanics are pretty weird. I feel like I can’t miss even though the bullets seem to be going all over the place. No creepy little girl for a few levels and then there she is. Shredding the flesh off my team mates. She left noting but their bloody skeletons behind. So then I jump down into a corridor and she’s walking, slowly of course, right at me and everything around her is exploding. I get blown out the window, recover, go down into a warehouse and now whenever I turn around she runs out of view giggling.

Creepy little girls ALWAYS have to giggle. That’s how you can tell they are the embodiment of pure evil.

Demons I can take. Monsters, mutant apes, evil doctors, Nazis, rabid mega dogs, nightmares from the dungeon dimensions and all manner of undead are no problem. I might take a break now and then to let my heart slow down but it’s Not. A. Problem.

You can keep your fucking creepy little girls though.

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