Peace! I Beseech Thee!

I’ll never get the hang of Thursdays.

Saw “Chronicles of Narnia” last night and it was super great. Highly recommended. Very faithful to the books, as far as my broken memory allows me to remember. The characters were great and I think I knew Susan in a previous life. Or possibly this one. The girl that played Susan looked really, really, really familiar to me and it drove me absolutely nuts and still is.

I don’t think Tricia noticed me tear up a few times…

Last night was also the gift exchange between a few of us. It was a lot of fun and everyone did really great on the gifts. I got an Electric Buddha and it’s awesome. It’s a little red box that plays ambient loops for me.
And of course, since it was Thursday and I had to work in the morning there was lots of wine and beer and insanity and fun at Adam and JoLynn’s place. Wheee.

I can’t write today for some reason. Brain no work good.

I think I’m gonna have Boulevard Wheat and Cranberry & Vodka on tap Saturday night. Someone’s gonna throw up, and it just… might… be… me!

I have a vague memory of talking to someone about their (and my) right (or possibly left) side being colder than their other. Who was that? Or was it a dream?


I won’t bind my strings to you
But build my world besides you
Watching you draw a line
Some say you are, you are
Just like a butterfly
Whose broken wings will spread
To softly feel your mood
Over the blue sky full of you
Pink love, pink love, pink love
Just like a fairytale

My only reason naturally
Starts to get to me
Pushing my way through
Mesh of life
I want to kiss the sickness of mind
My heart without reason
Sunken to deep disappointment
Spreads over universe
With a knife
I want to bleed out distress like this

It’s not just a fairytale
It’s painted by me
It’s not just loneliness between you and I
If on magic mountain you find you can breath
Then stay and don’t look back
To the blue woven sky

Storms of petals are pouring down
Pushing their way through our pink love
So many polka dots painted by me
Spreads over universe for you
And I, I want to kiss
Pink love, pink love
I want to kiss
Pink love, pink love
In my mind
I state myself
The clock is ticking without you
Some may say illness
So called so called love
The sickness of mind

Hello There Little Girl

I have a well documented, irrational fear of creepy little girls. This started with The Ring, which scared the hell out of me. Ever since then it seems like the creepy little girl has become the horror theme du jour. Obviously creepy little girls set something off in our primitive hind brains. At least mine.

So I’ve been bored as hell for the last few days. I’ve pretty much had nothing at all to do since Friday. So I started downloading games. Downloaded Call of Duty 2 and played that quite a bit. I think I’m almost done. Been fun, but a little repetitive. Last night I downloaded F.E.A.R. which I had seen ads for on Penny Arcade. Looked pretty cool, but I couldn’t help but notice that the cover featured a really, really creepy little girl. Long, stringy black hair, face down, white dress. The works.

I get the whole game downloaded and install it. It’s like… maybe 10:30pm? Start playing and she shows up immediately. Fuck it. Wait till it’s day time.

I can admit when I’m scared.

So this morning I get up with the resolve to kick that bitch’s ass. Get some F.E.A.R. going and it’s a pretty good game. The gun mechanics are pretty weird. I feel like I can’t miss even though the bullets seem to be going all over the place. No creepy little girl for a few levels and then there she is. Shredding the flesh off my team mates. She left noting but their bloody skeletons behind. So then I jump down into a corridor and she’s walking, slowly of course, right at me and everything around her is exploding. I get blown out the window, recover, go down into a warehouse and now whenever I turn around she runs out of view giggling.

Creepy little girls ALWAYS have to giggle. That’s how you can tell they are the embodiment of pure evil.

Demons I can take. Monsters, mutant apes, evil doctors, Nazis, rabid mega dogs, nightmares from the dungeon dimensions and all manner of undead are no problem. I might take a break now and then to let my heart slow down but it’s Not. A. Problem.

You can keep your fucking creepy little girls though.

Delerium Trigger

Coheed just plain rocked. That’s all I can say. They just completely rocked.
Flee the Seen was great too.
New Amsterdams and The Living Things I could have done without. Time would have been better spent eating pizza. Or drinking less.

And now for the apologies:
Afentra, I’m sorry I hugged you so many times.
Lazlo, I’m sorry I hugged YOU so many times.
Everyone at the Beaumont Club, I’m sorry I hugged you so many times.
Steve, I’m sorry.
Dining room wall, I’m sorry.

I hope you’ll all forgive me.

Chest Pain

For months the bottom rib on the left side of my ribcage has been hurting. I’ve just been ignoring it as one of those random pains you get as you turn old.

A few minutes ago I noticed that it was hurting pretty bad and I looked down. I am using it as a support on the edge of my desk to hold myself up while I lean back in my chair…

*slaps forehead*

David von Nieda, My Father


There aren’t many times in your life when something happens and you think, “That will affect how things are for the rest of my life.”

One of the first things that I thought Thanksgiving morning when my brother called me was that I’d never have a chance to introduce someone to my parents again.

On Thanksgiving morning, November 24th my father, David John von Nieda died. No real cause for death has been given but he has had heart troubles and surgeries for years and it seems he had a heart attack. He leaves behind his wife Lily and his daughter Caitlyn. He was 62.

My parents divorced when I was 11. My Dad drove off to California, stayed there a while, moved to Maine where he had lived long before and loved and eventually made his way back to New Jersey. My sister and I started seeing him once a week on Sundays. He would pick us up from church and we’d catch a movie, play games and just hang out. That went on pretty much until I got my license. I started driving my sister and I over to his place on Sunday but we stayed less and less long and eventually we stopped going. I moved to Kansas and lost touch.

The last time I talked to my Dad was about 6 years ago. I called and we chatted, caught up and promised to stay in touch. In the time in between then and now I had wanted to call many times but never had the balls to. As the gap got larger it seemed harder and harder to get back in touch. Last year my brother warned me that I might be running out of chances and he turned out to be right.

My Dad is who got me interested in technology and hacking. I use hacking here in it’s proper form, which is basically being curious about everything and wanting to know how it works. He was constantly working on something and I picked it up. Some of my earliest memories are of taking something apart and trying (and often failing) to get it back together. We built, or tried to build, everything imaginable.

Services were held Tuesday at the Brig. General Doyle Veteran’s Cemetery in Wrightstown, NJ. My Dad was a Coast Guard Vet. There was a short eulogy given by his friend Mike and then a flag presentation for Lily. It was all over in about 15 minutes and then we went to the grave site. Snow had fallen the night before so we were unable to see the marker but we saw the area where it was. A few minutes reflection and then we were off.

I’m sure I’ll always regret not talking to him more before he died but I think he was happy and I take comfort in that. And I take comfort in knowing the last thing I ever said to him was “I love you, Dad.”

No Witty Title

Well, here I sit in Detroit. Our flight from Philly to Detroit was slightly delayed because the plane wasn’t there on time. That was okay. We still had 30 minutes to make the connection. Then some bastard hurt himself on the tarmac right behind our plane and that stretched things out another hour while they cleaned him up.

I was supposed to be back to KC around 1 something but now it’s gonna be 4 something and I hear it’s started to snow pretty bad there.

Funny thing, I hear the old RX8 is no good in the snow. Assuming that we make it home from the airport alive in Adam’s truck then I have to try to make it from his house to mine in the RX8 and there’s no fucking WAY I am going to be able to get up my driveway.

Not without shoveling first.

And look, it’s just started to snow in Detroit.

All I wanna do is go home and look at the glowing embers that are all that remain of my house and belongings. I’m assuming by now, of course, that the transformer behind the house that was glowing red on Saturday night eventually caught fire and burned down the neighborhood.

If you look close at the Photo Blog over there you’ll see a picture of the sign that leads to Camden, NJ. Murder capital of the world, rep-ruh-zent!