I always assume the worst, and then I’m pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t happen.
On Tuesday morning I got my blood drawn at work for a standard blood test. I work at a lab and one of the “perks” is that you can get your blood work done for free. Get checked for cholestoral, diabetes, blood cell counts and all that. And HIV.
Lab results for employees normally come back in less than 24 hours, so Wednesday I waited all day for a yellow envelope to appear at my cube. Wednesday passed with no results so Thursday came and I began to get nervous. I got nervous because when blood tests positive for something bad it gets run again with a second tube to verify before results are sent out. I waited patiently all day Thursday and no results.
This morning I woke up thinking “I really hope they show up this morning so I don’t have to be nervous all day” and when I got to work there was no results, but an email. The email was from the head of HR at my company and said:
Subject: Time to Talk
Jason, I need to talk to you today. Could you let me know when you will be available?
That was right when my heart stopped. I’m writing this from the grave.
Ha Ha! Just kidding, but I got extremely scared real damn quick. I walked over to HR to talk to Susan and she said “I guess you probably know why I called you over.” I thought I had an idea, but it turned out I was completely wrong. It was some other thing completely unrelated to having blood full of horrible stuff and everything was just great.
I still don’t have my results though.
Just to be clear, there is absolutly no reason at all for me to be worried about anything, except my cholestoral. But I am anyway. That’s just the way I work. I like to think it’s healthy paranoia, but really it’s just paranoia.