Dookie!

So, I got a set of Scat Mats last night. Now I just need 20 Japanese school girls and a truckload of live eels.

What? You guys don’t know about scat porn?

Nevermind.

Anyway, the Scat Mat is this little (and by little I mean big) plastic mat with wires embedded in it that is used to keep the Sonja off the Leather Couch. Says it right on the box. It uses a capacitor to build up a charge on the wires and then if anything touches one they get a shock that feels just like getting touched by someone all charged up with static. There’s an audible snap too, which is cool. I think it also has a motion sensor because I dropped a non-conductor (blanket) on it and it went off. Pretty sweet. I tested it on myself a few dozen times last night because I’m stupid. I was trying to see if I could convince myself to hold my hand still after it went off instead of jumping back and spinning around in a circle laughing. (Man, I hope my neighbors weren’t watching last night). It’s pretty hard to do. Pretty good deterrent in my opinion.

It may seem like I have an obsession with electrical devices used to fry my dog but I find that it takes a certain amount of voltage to get through to her. About 25kv actually. Cruel? I don’t think so. When I was 12 Michelle Jones dared me to grab the electric fence in her back yard and I swear to God I’ve never even considered grabbing another electric fence since then. In fact, sometimes I pee myself when I see one. Very good training aid.

Yea, so get you some Scat Mats if you have a large black dog and an expensive leather couch and would prefer that never the twain shall meet.

Oh, and on a seperate note: If you see a guy laying in the grass with nothing on but a sombrero tonight do me a favor and make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Thanks.