Month: May 2005

Oh, one more thing. I’m not tired at all. I was warned that the Prednisone might keep me awake but this is bad news. I did 3x my normal situps and not even a twinge of tired. Gonna be a long ass night.

I just discovered this really awesome trick where I can press right… here and my entire left arm goes numb. My stomach also spasms for some reason. I wonder if this has anything to do with the steroids.

So, I have poison ivy.
That’s so lame.

So, I got a set of Scat Mats last night. Now I just need 20 Japanese school girls and a truckload of live eels.

What? You guys don’t know about scat porn?

Nevermind.

Anyway, the Scat Mat is this little (and by little I mean big) plastic mat with wires embedded in it that is used to keep the Sonja off the Leather Couch. Says it right on the box. It uses a capacitor to build up a charge on the wires and then if anything touches one they get a shock that feels just like getting touched by someone all charged up with static. There’s an audible snap too, which is cool. I think it also has a motion sensor because I dropped a non-conductor (blanket) on it and it went off. Pretty sweet. I tested it on myself a few dozen times last night because I’m stupid. I was trying to see if I could convince myself to hold my hand still after it went off instead of jumping back and spinning around in a circle laughing. (Man, I hope my neighbors weren’t watching last night). It’s pretty hard to do. Pretty good deterrent in my opinion.

It may seem like I have an obsession with electrical devices used to fry my dog but I find that it takes a certain amount of voltage to get through to her. About 25kv actually. Cruel? I don’t think so. When I was 12 Michelle Jones dared me to grab the electric fence in her back yard and I swear to God I’ve never even considered grabbing another electric fence since then. In fact, sometimes I pee myself when I see one. Very good training aid.

Yea, so get you some Scat Mats if you have a large black dog and an expensive leather couch and would prefer that never the twain shall meet.

Oh, and on a seperate note: If you see a guy laying in the grass with nothing on but a sombrero tonight do me a favor and make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Thanks.

I don’t really remember laying in the grass this past weekend, but I won’t say I didn’t. That is the sort of thing I am wont to do.
In any case, that’s the only reason I can come up with for all these itchy little bumps on my arms. Man, they suck!

I don’t usually post lyrics like Courtney does, but man, this one’s got me and maybe if I dump it I can listen to something else for a few minutes. This song completely kicks ass.

I am like a teenage girl. I’m so excited about The Killers concert next week that I’m about to pee my pants!

Q: How many drunken party goers does it take to make a crock of rotel?
A: I don’t know. I blacked out before we finished.

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHahahahha

It’s been such a completely crazy few weeks that I wouldn’t even know where to begin, and thus, I won’t.
Instead I will end.

Last night Jonathan and I went to see Muse at the Uptown Theater. They put on a hell of a show accented with all kinds of cool live light effects and wrapped the whole thing up with a complete instrument smash up the likes of which I’ve never seen. If a photog managed to get a shot of the bass guitar flying through the air at about 10 feet before smashing into the drum set I’d pay good money to hang it on my wall.

The night before that was Keaton’s birthday party which was at my place. The party was supposed to be poker themed but I think the real theme of the night was vomit; cause there was way more of that than poker going on. Surprisingly enough I managed to keep it all down but I did pass out rather early and missed a large part of the party. Mission accomplished though. Keaton has a nasty tendency to not drink at my parties so I cut him off at the pass with a large bottle of Jaeger which we quickly drained. We had a little help with that, but not a LOT of help. Courtney had a lot more to say about it.

Man, there is a lot more but I’m not gonna talk about it for now.