Okay, you know what a cicada is right? Huge, monster demon bug that makes that NOISE all night? Sonja, my dog, just comes running into the house after being outside to pee and I hear that NOISE go running past me, through the dining room and right into my bedroom. That horrible demon screaching noise. My dog has this huge, satanic bug in her mouth and she turns around with it screaming and BITES DOWN.

The screaming stops.

She drops it on the floor. It’s easily 3 inches long.

My dog, who licks my face when she’s happy to see me, looks right into my eyes for a moment. She bends down, picks up this spawn from hell and starts to chew. She finishes every last bite, goes and has a drink of water and lays down.

Look, everyone has their thing. Some people are afraid of mice. I love mice. They can play in my hair if they want to. Some are afraid of dogs. I love dogs. I’ll go up to any dog and it’s my buddy in 10 seconds. I don’t do bugs. Any bugs. I hate bugs. I might never sleep again.

If that isn’t enough to convince you, take a look at this incredible picture Scott took of a bug getting ready to totally kick his ass.

Endangered species my ass.